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Welcome to the world famous Porn Tastes Good site! What the fuck are you doing here? I hope you're not looking at this site at work. The (almost) daily blog is below, the porn menu is on the right. Porn is like a box of chocolates...it tastes good! |
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Secrets behind Porn Tastes Good: aka how to copy my idea and make money peddling porn on the internet.
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November 29th, 2005Earlier in the Year, Porn Tastes Good gave out its annual best song of the year award. (The winner was "Holiday" by Greenday.) Now it is time for the Porn Tastes Good WORST song of the year award.
***** Don't you just love it when you hit on a hot blonde 18 year old behind the counter at Taco Bell, and she is so charmed with you she gives you a free Chalupa? She tells you when her break is, then she sneaks you into a supply closet in the kitchen and gives you a nice blowjob before she has to go back to work? That kind of shit DOESN'T happen to you? Oh, me neither.
***** I found a good porn site for you when you get bored with this one. It is called Bang Bros Worldwide. It is a great way to learn about the different nations and cultures of the world. Basically, they travel around the world, find the local hotties, and er..fuck them on film. See hot Lithuanians, Canadians, Japanese, Dutch, and Saudi Arabian chicks get fucked. (Just kidding about the Saudis, they'ed proably stone them if they tried that in the Middle East, and I don't mean the good kind of stoned!) November 27th, 2005Happy belated Thanksgiving. I hope everyone gorged themselves like Rosie O'Donnell on a carb bender over the holiday. Do you all like leftovers all weekend? We had a nice serving of Turducken we are still munching on over at the Porn Tastes Good headquarters.
***** Oh, here are some more leftovers I found for you guys: Some old galleries from our friend's at Twistys. If you like naked women, these will interest you. If you don't like naked women...hey, not that there's anything wrong with that, but...wait, there IS something wrong with that. Check out the naked women anyway, you flamer, you don't know what you're missing out on!
November 23rd, 2005
Remember that scene in Return of the Jedi when Princess Leia is in a metal bikini? It seems like this scene is sort of a cult favorite of pervs everywhere. I first heard of this phenomenon on an episode of Friends RACHEL: I mean do you have any fun, you know, fantasy type things? ROSS: No. RACHEL: Come on you gotta have one! ROSS: Nope. RACHEL: Ross, you know what... ROSS: What? RACHEL: ...if you tell me, I might do it. ROSS: Okay, umm. Did you ever see, um, Return Of The Jedi? RACHEL: Yeah. ROSS: Do you remember the scene with, um, Jabba the Hut? Well Jabba had as, as his prisoner, um, Princess Leia. RACHEL: Oooh! ROSS: Princess Leia, was wearing this, um, gold bikini thing. It was pretty cool. Anyway, some bloke has a whole website full of galleries of women in the Princess Leia metal bikini. Here is the Link.
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Am I the only one who thinks Sierra Mist tastes like piss? Leave it to Pepsi to take the concept of a nice refreshing clear lemon lime drink and ruin it. 7-Up is so much crisper and cleaner tasting. I can handle Sprite if I have to, but this Sierra Mist stuff just has a nasty taste and cloudy look, like someone peed in a 7-up... ***** If I ever got my hand on Abu Musab al-Zarqawi, here's what I'd do to him... I'd call a couple of pipe-hittin' niggers who'll go to work on Arab boy with a pair of pliers and a blowtorch. Then I'd hang him by his balls with some rope wrapped in barbed wire. Then I would rub some glass shards into his eyelids, and ream a red hot skewer up his ass. Next I smash his hands and feet with a sledgehammer. I make him listen to NSYNC for an hour, then I turn the volume up gradually till his eardrums shatter. Finally, I shoot him in the kneecaps, then in the belly, then let him hang upside-down till he slowly bleeds to death. He gets a burial in a pigskin and bacon coffin. Think you can do better? Enter the Porn Tastes Good TORTURE Abu Musab al-Zarqawi contest. The first prize is a night of fucking and sucking with Hillary Duff. (Is she 18 yet? I hope so, or I probably shouldn't have just said that.) Just kidding, there is no prize other than the honor of having your twisted sick torture ideas posted her in a few days. Send Entries Here. *****
Men in Pain hardcore femdom videos Men in Pain hardcore femdom videos 2 Men in Pain hardcore femdom videos 3 Men in Pain hardcore femdom videos 4 Men in Pain hardcore femdom videos 5 November 13th, 2005Do you like women? O.K., good. So how about LOTS of women? Licking, kissing, sucking, and fucking each other? Fondling each others breasts? Are you with me so far?
These links each have 2 or 3 20 second videos of lesbian porn. You will see graphic videos of very attractive young women licking, sucking, fondling and fucking each other. Enjoy!
Here is a conversation about lesbians from the British sitcom Coupling: "Lesbians are porn efficient. It's sex with a greater density of women. Porn wise, lesbians are like a jam sandwich without the sandwich and just the jam. In fact, lesbians are just a big blob of jam. Well, not actually. Unless they've exploded in all the lesbonic excitement. Also, in bloke driven porn you run the risk of potential dangerous eye slippage." "Eye slippage?" "If, in the climactic seconds your eye slips from the girl to the bloke the sudden shock can cause a whiplash event. And trust me, lower whiplash is not an injury you want to have to explain while you're being stretchered out through your mother's coffee morning."
"Any girl could be a lesbian.""Jeff please!" "Bit of effort. No problem." "But she isn't, that's the point." "It could happen though. It could happen...She could be having a shower, maybe and probably Jane would be there and she might happen to say, 'Jane could you help me soap my breasts?' 'Your breasts Sally?' 'Yes Jane, it's those tricky undersides.' 'Oh, I know what you mean Sally; breasts can be a real dirt trap. Let me get the shower nozzle.'" "You understand that there's a difference between real life and lesbian porn?" "You don't know that. You don't know what woman get up to on their own. Why reject the only evidence we have?" "It's not evidence" Jeff: "It might be, maybe women are completely different when we're not with them. Maybe they're not cross all the time."
November 10th, 2005You all like wrestling, right? Of course you hosers like wrestling...anyway, I think wrestling is a lot cooler when it involves nude females. Enjoy these competetive nude female wrestling videos from Ultimate Surrender.
Go ahead, have some more fun... ***** I went on a mission to find the most Godawful annoying animated gif on the Internet. Here is what I came up with:
Think you can top that? Enter the Porn Tastes Good DAMN THAT ANIMATED GIF IS ANNOYING contest. 1st place winner will recieve a free blowjob from Brittney Spears. Send e-mail to: Annoying Gif Contest. Don't send me any freakin' attachments, just direct me to the link to go to. "The legal staff at Porn Tastes Good Inc. want you to be cognizant of the fact that the webmaster is being sarcistic. There is really no free blowjob from Mrs. Spears if you win contest herby referred to as the Porn Tastes Good© DAMN THAT ANIMATED GIF IS ANNOYING contest."***** Attention porn surfers. I'll bet some of you look at sites like this one all the time. I'll bet a few of you have had a light go off in your head. The thought goes like this: "Hey, the people who create sites like this make money doing this! I could do that...I have the Internet hooked up on my computer in my parent's basement. Why don't I sell porn on the Internet so I can finally quit my job at Mickey Dees and I can tell that asshole manager Jim I'm not going to cook the goddamn fries anymore?" Think you've got what it takes to be a smut peddler? Be my guest...good luck! What you want to do is sign up for some affiliate programs. They pay you a commission everytime a web surfer whips out a credit card and signs up for a subscription.
This is top secret hush hush webmaster information I'm giving you; the general public (I.E. YOU) is NOT supposed to have this, so keep it on the down low... *****
November 9th, 2005Man, is it really almost Thanksgiving? What am I thankful for...hmm...well, I'm thankful that there are a lot of women who look like this in the world:
I am thankful that I just got the special double disc DVD of the best movie of all time...Gigli, featuring J.Lo and Ben Affleck. "It’s turkey time" says J.Lo, having succumbed to Affleck's oafish charms. She invites him to give her oral sex. When he, understandably, looks confused, she continues "You know…gobble, gobble". Brilliant! (Note to the sarcasm challanged: I'm joking about Gigli being the best movie of all time...or am I? Hmm...)
***** What the fuck ever happened to "Virtual Reality?" I remember there was tons of hype about it in the ancient times of the early 1990s, before the Web was around even. They had hyped up $5.00 a play arcade games whereby you would put on goggles and walk around in a crappy animated game that gave you a headache. But I remember thinking "This is early. The Atari 2600 was crude, but then video games got way better! Wait until the year 2000." Hmm...it's 2000 fricken 5! There should be virtual reality for the masses by now! I should be able to immerse myself in Viet-Fuckin-Nam and have it be so realistic I feel like a shell-shocked vet with my ears ringing and nightmares of Viet-Cong sniping at me from little straw huts with chickens running around in them! And the porn...this is the early 21st century, virtual reality porn should be HUGE by now! Ah...I live in a dream world I geuss. I'll just have to make do with Blow Job Point of View...damn, it really does feel like she's sucking my cock while I watch the videos.
***** If you ever get a chance to see the Guns N' Roses cover band "Appetite for Destruction," do so. I caught them in South Bend on Friday night. The lead singer has Axl Rose's schreech down pat, and they play all the guitar riffs incredably well. The highlights were a blistering fast finale to "Paradise City" and a kick-ass rendition of "November Rain" with yet another blistering fast finale, plus a welcome encore of "Patience" and of course "Sweet Child O' Mine." Great fucking show! If any of you guys read this blog, you guys rule. Chad Atkins, Craig Hilton, Steve Busi, Mike Edington, and Mike Ropelewski deserve kudos.
November 7th, 2005Here's a deep question. Where the hell does matter come from? So many people always bitch about where life came from, intellegent design vs. evolution, yadda yadda yadda. But even before fucking life...matter itself. If you're religious you might say "God created it." How the fuck did he (or she) do that? "I am God...and I pull this matter out of my ass...now we have stars and rocks and comets." O.K. if you are more scientific, you might say "It was the Big Bang, dude." Okay, if I'm right, acording to the Big Bang theory, the universe started out as a highly concentrated ball of matter. Well, where did that matter come from? I mean, where did the stuff to create everything in the universe come from?
By now you're thinking "What the fuck...I clicked the link called 'Porn Tastes Good.' Where's the porn? I didn't come here for this shit." ***** O.K., give the people what they want...tasty porn, I assume. I found a mega site for you. Mega site="Huge variety of porn content under one roof." These movie galleries are from All Sites Access.
"Why the hell would I sign up for a pay porn site, Big Balls Billy? There is TONS of free porn on the Internet; Hell, I get half of my free porn from you!" Simple answer: Free porn=10 to 30 second clips of hotties fucking and sucking. Paid porn=hundreds of HOURS of clips of hotties fucking and sucking from archives containing 50,000 video clips. "Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish and he will watch porn till he drools from watching hours and hours of blowjob videos." Here's some more free fish for you...tartar sauce not included.
All Sites Access 1 ***** By the way, did anyone watch family guy last night? They said the word "Fellatio." November 4th, 2005It's amazing what kind of crazy shit there is out in the world. It has always been there, but thanks to the web you can find unusual things much easier than you could in the olden days, like before 1990. Example: Strange men's bathroom. Even if you aren't a shy pee-er, you might have trouble pissing in this place.
***** How about Zombo.com? I stumbled upon it through Wikipedia. This site was famous in the late 90s...it was a sort of parody of all the Internet hype in the late 90s before the dotcom bubble burst. The site sums up the philosophy of "All hype and no substance" that many marketers were into in that long ago time period. This site is about absolutly NOTHING. No links to anything else, its not a real product...Zombo is just Zombo! Turn up your sound. The Internet is full of all sorts of random weirdness...strange people, strange places, strange things...and its entertaining as hell! How about this chick who rented out her boobs to advertisers? The site has been inactive for a long time, but at one point in time, this lady used her titties as a billboard...
***** Everyone and their grandmother is posting funny or interesting flash files they find on the web. This one is pretty cool. The premise is this: Take about a hundred random looking chicks. Some are attractive, others- well, not as hot. You see them scrolling accross the screen, fully dressed. When you mouse over any given girl...Viola! She's stark naked. The design of the flash is a little annoying, it scrolls too fast and sometimes it's hard to stop, but it is well worth a look...some of the ones you wouldn't think are hot have wicked bodies, and some of the ones who look hot dressed are not so attractive in the buff... What does she look like naked? ***** What blog entry on weird things you can find on the Internet would be complete without mentioning The Backseat Bangers? They practically inveted the concept of "Reality Porn." Everyone knows the premise...find some random hottie walking down the street, offer her money to have sex with someone in a moving car, and film the results. I find it very entertaining to see innocent looking girls you might see walking down your street turn into cocksucking whores in moving vehicles. A classic!
More of the Backseat Bangers Backseat Bangers 1 Well I've gotta go now. I'm going to see a Gun's N' Roses cover band tonight, I kid you not. They are called "Appetite for Destruction." I have no idea if they are good or not, but its the closest I'll come to seeing G N'R...Axl will NEVER finsh that Chinese Democracy album, he's a pussy who is afraid of failure. November 3rd, 2005WikiWiki! Another fine November day...sunny and 60 degrees in Northern Indiana, more like a nice day in May. The warmer the weather, the less women are wearing, which makes me a happy camper. A reader sent me an e-mail last week saying I should make a page on Wikipedia. For those of you unfamiliar with Wikipedia, it is actually a rather incredible website. It has replaced Google as the second most frequently used site in my bookmarks. (After Japanese Killer Seizure Robots, of course, I mean who doesn't visit that site at least once an hour while online?) Anyway, Wikipedia is supposed to be this ideal utopia of a site that anyone can edit. If you go to the entry on Upskirt, and realize that the creators of this page got the facts all fucked up on it, you or anyone else can edit it. I've made many minor updates to Wikipedia entries over the last year or so, but I never tried to actually create my own article. Lo and behold, I created an article for Porn Tastes Good. Almost instantly, the powers that be have decided "This article is being considered for deletion in accordance with Wikipedia's deletion policy." I have been following a discussion between moderators of Wikipedia regarding the fate of the Porn Tastes Good entry. Their words: "An Alexa rating over 1,500,000 combined with the Google results above indicates that this is just another website with relatively low readership and influenece." So if you want to see the historical Porn Tastes Good Entry on Wikipedia, hurry up, because the censors are about to yank it. Did I do this partly to promote my site? Guilty as charged. But is this site worthy of inclusion on the "The free encyclopedia that anyone can edit?" I honestly think so. There is so much obscure shit on Wikipedia; stumbling upon previously unkown gems is part of the fun. I could understand it if they outlaw obvious spam, like an entry for "Hal's House of Hardcore Porno!" that says nothing more than "Cum on in, Hal's house of porno has TONS of teen hardcore fucksluts!" and a link to the page. I explain what this site is, give it some context by describing Link Lists, TGPs, and Sex Blogs, and the article was placed in the proper categories. It's not like some old lady is going to be researching "knitting" and stumble upon Porn Tastes Good. But someone surfing Wikipedia in the category "Adult Websites" may very well be interested in this entry. The powers that be at Wikipedia have deemed I Deep Throat, an obvious promotion for a pay site, worthy of inclusion. ***** Enough of the ranting and raving, my Tasty Friends. I know you've had a rough day at work, and want to enjoy yourself. Or maybe you've just been lounging around the house again, watching the Oxygen Network. (Which fucking showed The Silence of the Lambs on Halloween; I thought that channel was just chick flicks!) Sit back, loosen you pants, grab a beer, and look at beautiful ladies till you drool...
November 1st, 2005Holy shit, I woke up and it was November! November has come way too early this year, it shouldn't start for another week or two. Now I have to worry about Christmas Shopping and annoying Christmas music, along with all the hype surrounding Ramadan; you can't escape all the Ramadan hype, I tell you. It rained this morning, made me think of "November Rain" and Guns N' Roses. I know for a fact that Axl Rose reads this blog. (Bullshit alert!) Axl, are you EVER going to finish that goddamn album you've been promising for a decade? Cause if you do, I've got an idea. Have a song on it called "Appetite for Destruction." It would pay homage to the album of the same name; I envision this song to be a rowdy rocker like "You're Crazy," "Nigt Train" and "It's So Easy" rolled into one. But you won't do it; if the album ever comes out it's going to be artsy stuff like "Estranged," I just have a hunch. ***** In an abrupt change for this website, I'm going to bring you some porn...these video galleries are from Skin Vids. I love the descriptions on the site. Example: "Savannah has a tight firm body and perky breasts that beg for attention. She looks like a girl you'd see in a supermarket checkout stand, now you can see her soaking wet and witness her pleasure as she's penetrated before opening wide for a taste of her lover." ***** Video of a man who set his PENIS on FIRE! I'm not fucking joking... Oops...looks like you've reached the end of the November content. Or is it the beginning of the November content? Whatever. Dude, there is plenty more from Porn Tastes Good in the Achives! ARCHIVES: |
Amateurs First time porn stars Anal  Get behind your woman Babes  Outstandingly Attractive Nudes Bondage BDSM  All tied up Fetish  The really kinky stuff Hardcore  XXX Hardcore Handjobs  Stroke me Babe! Lingerie  Panties, Bikinis Lesbians  Pussy Lickers Oral  Slurp! Tastes Good Exhibitionism  Public Nudity and Spring Break Fun Hot Guys  Well Hung Hunks |
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Hey lucky reader! You've come to the end of the site. Nothing to see here...move along! Hey, robots...do you like dirty pics? I don't know if I have any naked pics that might interest you...hmm...maybe you all would like Fucking Machines.
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Fetishes galore! Get your kink on...She's a very sexy girl...the kind you don't take home to mother...she's a freak, a super superfreak! I'm Rick James, BITCH!
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And the winner is: Photograph, by Nickleback. (I know, they are supposed to be spelled "Nickelback", I just thought I'd piss you off if you like them by spelling their name wrong.) Photograph is the most insipid piece of unadalterated pap to hit the marketplace since...well, last year, there was a lot of similar crap in 2004. Why do I despise this song so much? It just really sounds bad, it rubs me the wrong way, and Jesus, it is sung by a CANADIAN, that is REASON ENOUGH TO HATE THE SONG! Plus that Chad Krueger guy looks so smug with his goofy pout and nasty mustache. Kudos to Nickleback: Worst song of the year in a year with the Pussycat Dolls, a Backstreet Boys comeback, Kelly Clarkson, and the Crazy Frog song.
